Have you ever wondered what you need to do to feel happier in your life? Maybe you think you need to make a big change, reach a goal, own certain things, or you may find yourself thinking, “once I (insert random thing you’ve decided will make you happy) THEN I’ll be happy”. But it’s simpler than that. What if we told you that right now, you can find happiness in your life! [yes, we acknowledge the cheesy sales pitch!]
We’ve both found ourselves caught in this trap and acknowledge that it’s easy to be influenced by the promise of happiness that’s sold to us by companies, popular culture and social media. What’s so important to remember is that you don’t need to have those things, do those things, or post about those things to be happy and fulfilled.
In the ongoing process of finding happiness in our own lives, we use these steps to help shift the focus. You, too, can increase your happiness right now by focusing on the parts of life that already bring you joy and fulfillment.
Try the following steps and see how your mindset changes:
1. Recognize what makes you happy.
Before you can add more happiness and fulfillment into your life, you need to know what actually makes you feel happy and fulfilled! Is it going for a walk in nature? Planning a trip to a new destination? Reading a good book? Sitting down with all of the members of your family for dinner? Spending time with friends? The possibilities are endless and what makes you happy will be different than what makes someone else happy. Happiness doesn’t always have to come from the big moments – although those are great too – you can also find joy in the small instances of everyday life. For us, those small instances include things like morning cuddles with the kids, breathing in the fresh morning air in the spring, a good belly laugh, doing the kids’ hair in fancy braids, noticing the new growth in the vegetable garden, getting excited about a new season hitting Netflix, and that first bite of the evening pizza ordered after the kids go to bed. Enjoying moments of happiness doesn’t have to be complicated, planned out or social media approved!
Start by making a list of the things you already know make you feel happy and fulfilled. Then take a few days to recognize the moments when you’re feeling happy or full of joy in your day-to-day life. Make note of what you’re doing, who you’re with, and why these moments are filling your tank. Add these things to your list.
2. Soak up the joy.
Now that you’re aware of what makes you happy, you can intentionally lean into those moments when they happen. Remember that real life isn’t what you see on tv and on social media – these are often perfectly curated, staged and sometimes digitally enhanced versions of life. Your life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be happy and you don’t always need to be striving for the next thing that you think will make you happy. As you discovered in step one, there are parts of your existing life that already bring you happiness and fulfillment.
Keep the list you made in step one somewhere you’ll see it often so you can regularly be reminded of the things in your life that already make you happy. When you find yourself doing something from your list – be a sponge and soak up that joy. It can be helpful when you’re first getting started to make a note of when each instance occurs, so at the end of the day, you can reflect on the happiness you experienced. Once you’re paying more attention to these moments of happiness you’ll naturally start to focus on them without thinking about it. This practice is similar to a gratitude journal. Remember, what fills your tank is unique to you and anything and everything that makes you happy counts. Listened to your favourite podcast? Completed a really satisfying workout? Tried a new recipe? Read your kids an extra bedtime story? Connected with a good friend? Really enjoy each experience on your happiness list as they happen. Going through this process may even help you learn more about yourself as you discover the happiness that already exists in your day-to-day life.
3. Make room in your life for the things that make you happy.
When you’re intentional about how you spend your time you can prioritize the things that make you happy. Start by dedicating 10-15 minutes a day toward doing something on your list. If you’re already doing things in your day-to-day life that bring you joy, try giving them your undivided attention so you can be as present as possible. Sometimes just building your awareness that you’re doing something enjoyable can make you feel happier. Maybe during your commute you start listening to your favourite podcasts or audio books. If you enjoy cooking, perhaps you have family recipe night and all enjoy your creation together. Putting your phone on silent may help with staying present in the moment. Leaving the house a few minutes early to enjoy the walk to work or school. Plan a last minute night out with your friends. Again, there are so many ways you can make room for the things that make you happy. You don’t need to block large amounts of time in your day in order to build in time for what’s important.
Mindset changes don’t happen overnight and this isn’t a one-and-done process, it’s ever-evolving. Some days you’ll get it right and feel fulfilled by how you spent your day while other days you’ll be happy to jump in bed at night and hit the reset button to start again the next day. Just five extra minutes each day doing something that makes you happy will start to add up. The simple act of bringing your attention to the happiness you already have (even those small instances) will help to shift your focus toward the happy and fulfilled life you’re looking for.
If these steps have inspired you to find more happiness and fulfillment in your life, check out our free downloads The Happy and Fulfilled Checklist and Getting Started Designing a Life You Love.
You are in charge of where you go from here!
~Ashley and Larissa
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